Disclaimer: All characters belonging to Lucasfilm and George Lucas are used without their/his permission and are not intended for profit, merely the enjoyment of myself and hopefully, other fans. Takes place ten years after The Phantom Menace and includes events undoubtedly covered in Episodes II and III. Prequel to my The Beast Within

Beloved Monster:

Part V

by

They had fallen asleep before the fire, a light cover from the couch pulled over them. Sabé had come with a meal and found them that way. She tiptoed out after leaving the tray on the table and closed the door as quietly as she could.

"Make certain no one disturbs them, Corporal," she warned the guard outside the door.

She turned away, an ache in her heart warring with the gladness she felt that her friend and ruler had found love. Obi-Wan, why did you have to be so...so difficult? He'd been glad to see her, but he refused to do more than kiss her and hold her hand. Sabé brushed away her tears, realizing she most likely would die an old maid, unloved and untouched.

"Sabé?"

"Obi-Wan...you startled me."

"Why so sad?"

She shook her head. "I'm not really. It just seems Amidala and Anakin are so...right...so perfect together." And I will never have anyone...especially not you.

" Sabé...I can't... I'm a Jedi knight. Ani's case is special... always has been. You remember all that's happened."

"I know, I know, but that doesn't change the way I feel, Obi-Wan Kenobi," she muttered, then turned toward the handmaidens' quarters.

"Wait..." he protested, catching up with as she hurried away.

"Why?" she bit out, refusing to slow her pace.

"Because you need to understand why I can't do this. Really understand." He pulled her into one of the small alcove rooms off the main hallway and pressed her into the window seat. Outside, the Naboo moonlight shone silvery over the plain below. Sabé gazed out at it without seeing the beauty, her vision veiled in the knowledge of the lonely years ahead of her.

His warm hand curled around hers, forcing her back from the bleak landscape. Before she could pull away, Obi-Wan pulled her into his embrace. He held her gently, lovingly, making the hurt even worse with his kindness.

"I must concentrate on finishing Anakin's training. If I allow myself the distraction of your sweet love, I won't be able to give him what he needs...a strong Master who will always be there for him."

"But he has Amidala! What would be so bad about us being together? I know you can't make a commitment to me...I couldn't make one to you, either. I'm a handmaiden, the Queen's decoy...I have to be here for her." She took a shuddering breath, then pressed him closer. "Why can't you give me just a little of yourself? Something I can treasure for the rest of my life?"

He buried his face against her neck, not saying a word for a moment. She could have sworn she felt his lips against her skin before he pulled away. An awful emptiness flooded her as he withdrew himself.

"Not now, Sabé, not now. I have to go soon. The Council needs Master Gallia and me to go to Alderaan. There's a threat to the entire Republic that we can't ignore. I can only pray Anakin and the Queen's honeymoon isn't affected."

She could only stand there, mute, in the face of his logic. Her heart ached, but somehow she managed to stem the tears that pressed against her eyes. When he reached for her hand, she allowed him to hold it for a moment and press his lips to her fingers before he left.

"Farewell, my love. Take care," she whispered to his departing back. Then she made her way to her bed, feeling the loss of his presence more acutely than ever.

Three months flew by and soon the Naboo summer peaked with hot, humid days and nights alike. Anakin felt bad for his wife, as he sweltered enough in his own robes during the almost daily hearings. He had never appreciated how hard Amidala worked until he spent his days with her. Silently, he made a vow he would spend as much time as possible helping her.

At the end of his last day on vacation, he dismissed the handmaidens and helped Amidala undress from her regalia. First, he removed the heavy headpiece, intertwined with her own soft hair. He brushed out the knots and marveled at the crinkled waves, running his fingers through it and bringing it to his face to inhale her unique scent.

"Ani, we'll never get me out of this if you keep that up," she murmured.

He looked up and met her smiling eyes in the mirror. "Sorry, Am... Couldn't help myself."

She reached back to put her hand over his. "I can't object to that, Ani. Just let me up so you can undo the back of my dress."

With a final touch of her hair, he stood back and let her rise. She walked around the low chair, then turned around to face away, lifting her hair to allow him access to the numerous buttons at the back of her dress. Despite all the intimate times they had shared, Ani's fingers trembled as he worked at the tiny openings. He finally finished, feeling clumsy and inept.

"Help me out of it, Ani. I can't hold it up by myself," she said, then turned to face him.

He pushed aside his insecurity and grasped the heavy dress. Amidala shrugged off the shoulders, then stepped back, out of her outfit.

"It goes over there, on that stand." She pointed to appropriate place and he took it over to hang it over the wooden contraption. He fussed with it for a bit, certain the handmaidens would think him totally incompetent at such a simple task.

"It's fine, Ani. Come sit beside me while I take off my makeup." She patted the seat she sat on. He watched her spread a thin layer of a translucent white compound over her face, then wipe away the thick coating of opaque white and red. "Hand me the washcloth, please," she asked, here eyes closed.

"Let me, Am." Gently, he took the warm, wet cloth and removed the last vestiges of her role as Queen of Naboo.

"Mmmm...that feels wonderful. You have such a nice touch, love."

"Let me give you a massage, Am. After all day in that get up, I'm sure you're all tight."

She opened her eyes and grinned at him. "Why, Anakin Skywalker, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were propositioning me."

"Aw, Am...I just want to do something nice for you," he protested.

Amidala leaned forward to kiss him, then whispered in his ear. "I know, dear. Don't be silly. I'd love a good massage." She rose and held her hand out to him. "Let's go to bed. It's late and we can sleep in tomorrow."

He followed her into the bedroom. As he undressed and donned his night robe, she shed her own and lay face down on the bed. Anakin went to the dresser, picked her favorite oil, then knelt beside her on mattress. He poured a small amount in his palm and rubbed it between his hands to warm it.

Her skin felt soft and smooth beneath his touch, her response to his ministrations with little sounds nearly drove him mad. How could he bear to leave her? Yet he knew Obi-Wan and Adi Gallia would return tomorrow. And he had promised to return to the Temple. The Republic would need every Jedi, Master, Knight and Padawan alike, to fight the new threat.

Reluctantly, he ended his massage, running his fingers down Amidala's spine, then bracketing her hips. He discarded his robe and lay beside her. She opened heavy eyes and studied him with a smoldering look.

"Will you follow up on that promise?"

"What promise?" he asked, not certain what she spoke of.

"To come back..."

"Am, I don't want to leave. But you know the Temple needs everyone."

"You don't have to tell me about obligations, Ani. I have enough of my own to understand." She grimaced, then continued. "I just want you to remember that I'm here. That you don't just belong to the Temple...you belong to me now...and I belong to you."

He pulled her close, holding her tenderly as if she were a precious treasure. "How could you think otherwise, love. I'll never forget you. You're my angel...always will be."

"Just be careful, Ani. And don't forget to keep in touch if you can."

He caressed her face, tilting her lips to meet his and molding his body to hers. She met him eagerly, almost desperately, as if she too remembered this would be their last night together for some time. As if they could hold off the morning with their lovemaking. All around them, the palace slept, unaware and silent in the face of their impending separation.

In the still night, they curled together, hands and minds linked.

Anakin's heart sank at the grim expressions on Obi-Wan and Master Gallia's faces. The news must be bad for them to look so...so...tense, for lack of a better word. They had greeted the Queen and him with appropriate gladness, then asked to speak to Anakin alone. Once they were certain of privacy, Master Gallia told him of their findings.

"I am sorry to tell you, Padawan Skywalker, but you must come back to Coruscant with us. Three Core Worlds have fallen to the Mandelorians since we last stood here." The beautiful Jedi master took a deep breath, a look of profound sorrow in her dark eyes. "Make your farewells to your wife for we must leave immediately."

"Master?"

"Master Gallia is correct, Anakin. Things have progressed to a point of outright war. Several systems have agreed to form their armies against the Mandalorians. Bail Organa of Alderaan leads one and has asked for you and I to work with them." Obi-Wan gave Anakin a rueful half-smile. "Not the way I would have wished to end your honeymoon, but there is little time left if we are to successfully defeat these predators."

"How long?" Anakin managed, a cold pit forming in his chest. All the promises he'd made to Amidala might come to nothing in the face of this situation.

"We depart this evening. Chancellor Palpatine expects our report in person within three days. Even on scrambled lines, there is evidence of a leak. No longer can we send messages regarding our plans or troop movements," Adi Gallia told him. "This, sadly, means any communication with others must be in some other code if sent subspace."

"We leave at twenty-one hundred hours tonight, Anakin," Obi-Wan continued. "Master Gallia and I will get something to eat and a few hours of rest. Meet us at the shuttle in the hangar bay."

Anakin dipped his head in acknowledgment, then hurried toward the handmaidens' receiving room, where Amidala waited for him. He found the young women surrounding her, discussing speculations of what the Jedi delegation had come to report. For a moment he stood in the doorway, his hands clenched at his sides as he watched them, like butterflies lighting on the sweet flower that was his wife.

"Your Majesty...a moment, please," he broke in.

The room grew silent. Amidala took in the look on his face and shooed the others away. She stood and joined him, linking her arm through his and moving toward their quarters.

"What is it, Ani? From your face, it must be bad."

"The Mandalorians have moved against three other worlds and continue toward Coruscant. Obi Wan and Master Gallia have come to take me back to the Temple. Then my Master and I will return to Alderaan. We're fighting beside Bail Organa."

Amidala drew in a sharp breath. "So it is war, then."

"Yes, Am. I don't know how long I'll be gone." Or if I'll come back...despite my promises.

They continued on in silence and once they reached their room, she shut the door behind them. He sensed her pain and fear and wished he could give her soothing words, but none came, his own feelings echoing hers.

"When must you leave?"

"Tonight. I'm to meet them in the hangar bay at twenty-one hundred hours. We have to be back on Coruscant by the end of the week to report the Council and Chancellor Palpatine."

He didn't mention the communication problem, not wanting to worry her further. He needn't have worried, for she flung herself into his arms, holding him as though she would never release him.

"Then we don't have much time, love," she said, tears in her voice. "Give me another memory to hold close before you go."

"Am, no matter what, I'll be close." He shut his eyes, reaching out for her with his mind. I'll always be with you, this way. It doesn't matter how far away I am, we'll have this.

She nestled against him, her voice so low he had to strain to make out the words. "I know, but that doesn't make this any easier."

Without another word, he tightened his embrace for a moment, then scooped her into his arms and carried her toward their bed. Once there, he proceeded to give what she asked for and what he needed as well...memories to carry them through their separation.

Later, they lay quiescent in each other's arms, enjoying the closeness after lovemaking. Reluctant to break the mood, Anakin ran his thumb over her arm absently, his thoughts filled with the coming conflict. He shielded those worries from her, knowing them disturbing and feeling them an unnecessary worry.

"You should eat before you go, Ani. Force knows when you'll have another decent meal."

"Mmm...in a bit. Right now, you're the only food I need, Am." He nuzzled her neck, then began kissing her again.

His lips muffled her replies, but she didn't object, just turned to him with renewed fire... Taking him completely within her, body and soul, their thoughts and sensations merged, all the more poignant for the pressure of time on them.

On to Part VI